did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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