how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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