Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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