i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
