Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
