My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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