Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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