You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
