So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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