the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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