I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize