I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize