I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
