UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
im about as happy as oj after his trial
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
