She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
