Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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