hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
