so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
