i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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