how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
