Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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