my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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