It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
as a side note pls kill me
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
