she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
