I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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