i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
