She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
