We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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