so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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