By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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