I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
