This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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