I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
