is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
