At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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