did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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