He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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