My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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