only if we run a train.
done.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You are the jesus of drinking
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
