shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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