Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
