When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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