there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sobbing to NWA
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
