trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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