is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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