until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize