I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
