Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
