Can Purell be used as lube?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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