They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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