come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
