So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize