Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
