just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
