you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
dude. I can hear the air.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
