If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
