Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
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I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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