Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
