Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize