i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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