I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize