Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
