im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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