Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
