Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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