I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
