:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
