there's paper in my vomit.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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