We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
